Boris Johnson is gone. Not just as a prime minister, but as a whole egotistical politician
Whenever you hear the words “Boris Johnson”, it rings out like the name of a man who likes to pretend or look like that he’s still in power despite no longer being in that position. Despite his resignation as prime minister in the summer of last year, he continued his dominance in British politics throughout, and considering the news that he’s resigned as a *whole* MP — thus triggering a by-election — that dominance is likely to continue, even if he’s no longer in Parliament.
Johnson’s resignation came as he was set to receive a report from the Privileges Committee, who are looking into whether he misled Parliament regarding the parties that he had in Downing Street whilst the UK was in lockdown a few years ago. As the committee said he “impugned the integrity” of the House of Commons, he claimed that he had been “forced out” and said this was “the definition of a kangaroo court”, only there were no kangaroos and no courts.
Johnson came into politics believing that you can say, do or think about anything and not face the consequences for it. Remember that time when he called Africans “piccaninnies with watermelon smiles” in a column? Didn’t stop him. Remember when he called gay men “tank-topped bum boys”? His homophobia was barely noticed. Him comparing Muslim women to “letterboxes”? So powerful that Islamophobic hate crimes increased. However ways he apologised, or disremembered saying/writing these things, he was still consequence-free.
The former motherfucker-in-chief has made plenty of mistakes in his political life — to be fair, most of them were deliberate so not sure whether I can call them “mistakes” at all. His politics were built on egotisms, lies, corruption, bigotry and deceits all so badly that when he’s accused of all of these things, he deflects and blames anybody but himself. When the Partygate scandal started to kick in in 2021, Johnson said “there was no party” but there came photos of parties. If that isn’t lying, I dunno what it is.
Boris Johnson became the Mayor of London in 2008 and lasted for around eight years. Between these years, he was an MP for the constituencies of Henley and Uxbridge & South Ruislip. New Routemasters and were created under ‘Borismaster’, one of few things he failed to fuck up. He resigned as the Mayor in 2016 and helped co-found one of the most countrycidal projects alive — Brexit, and with it came the Vote Leave campaign — which succeeded with 17.4 million voting Leave.
Johnson became foreign secretary from 2016 to 2018, after a successful Brexit vote. When Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe was imprisoned in Tehran, Iran, Johnson claimed that she was “teaching journalism”. It didn’t help release, but helped keep her in jail until 2022. He called then-shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry “Lady Nugee” when she didn’t choose the name, and claimed that Brexit would result in the NHS getting £350 million a week, only the £350 million was expensive and was pure bullshit money talk.
In 2019, Johnson replaced his old boss Theresa May as prime minister. In these three years, he (unlawfully) prorogued Parliament in order to “get Brexit done”, which he did in 2020 after winning the general election. The same year, he led the country through the pandemic, where he presided over a series of scandals like parties in Downing Street and unlawful PPE contracts. He even said he shook his hands with Covid patients, and ultimately caught the virus a few moments later.
In 2022, a growing number of ministers quit the government, culminating in Johnson’s own resignation. He was replaced by Liz Truss, who can do a good job if leading the country so badly that the pound crashed after the disaster of her mini-budget. As political pressure grew on her to go, Truss went and was overtaken by a literal lettuce. Rishi Sunak replaced her to try to heal this country’s problems, or so I thought(!)
Hours before he resigned as the Tory MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip, Johnson announced his resignation honours list. He honours Priti Patel, who steered the “HMS Hostile Environment” ship, for a damehood, and he gives Jacob Rees-Mogg who’s known for lying down in Parliament, a knighthood. Andrea Jenkyns also got a damehood, using it as an opportunity to stick two middle fingers up (probably). They’re all his loyalists, so what’s any surprise about it.
Also in Johnson’s resignation honours list, former advisers like Jack Doyle and Guto Harri are awarded a CBE and Shaun Bailey — who tried and failed to take on Sadiq Khan for Mayor of London — is one of those going to the House of Lords. The honours list made in shame, of course, but also the honours list made in a harmony of shamelessness.
But one political figure missing from Johnson’s resignation honours was one of his staunch allies, Nadine Dorries, who was widely expected to get a peerage. She also resigned as the Tory MP for Mid Bedfordshire with immediate effect just hours after being omitted from the list and telling Talk TV, her employer, that triggering a by-election “would be the last thing [she wants] to do”. Dorries went back there and said that “something significant happened” which probably resulted in her resignation. Was that “something significant” Joe Lycett sarcastically endorsing you? (possibly)
They say whatever psychopaths touch, breaks. Johnson was given a loan worth £800,000 by Richard Sharp, who would then go on to be the chairman of the BBC, the UK’s flagship public broadcasting organisation. It led to questions whether the corporation was an organisational arm of the Tories. As the row continued to deepen, Sharp announced his resignation from the BBC as its chair and is set to leave later this month, proving that resignations can be the key way to either take responsibility or avoid facing punishment for your actions.
Note that Johnson said in his resignation letter that “it is very sad to be leaving Parliament — at least for now.” Hang on, does that mean he could make a comeback? Remember when he said in his last Prime Minister’s Questions “hasta la vista, baby!”, attempting to channel his inner Arnold Schwarzenegger? He’s basically reigniting it all over again.
Johnson’s resignation from Parliament can be resembled with that of Phillip Schofield. The former This Morning host left ITV after admitting to an affair with a male younger than him. It may be the end of Johnson in Parliament (“for now” in his own words), but it won’t be the end of him in politics completely. Expect more and more scandals to come in the next few while, my g’s.
